Read this: Who Will Prepare Your Case? I totally understand your pain , grief and heartache. They knew I was high risk prego. Seriously, STOP thinking of them. But, just as with people, not all dogs react the same after the loss of another dog in the . A few things have changed, but no one would dare tell me that it was because of my letters. Camcorders are good, too. i thought it was enough to keep me clean to get them back. You are NOT alone! And dont punish yourself for what happened while it is true that this kind of trauma is hard to get over completely, with the years, it diminishes. I dont let it bother me anymore; I have four other children who love me. Since that time, I have joined support groups, taken classes, and gotten therapy. We are accountable for how we respond to others choices. I had no money to go to the court in L.A. and did not go to the court hearing. Red flag. Then, when I wanted to ask them about any personal or private matters they just forwarded calls and e-mails to my caseworker! He knows your pain and most of all, He knows your heart. Thank you! My heart is breaking. Indeed, your child is not physically with you. Please trust in Jesus and write everything down! You can still set an example of responsibility. I know what your feeling. In 1992 but for 15 months they danggled the baby in front of us like a carrot and a donkey.what I am getting at is can they do that. Did you ever find that group to fight. Do not turn to drugs or alcohol for comfort because they will only drag you down to the abyss. I also requested CPS to be involved to investigate the claims this woman had made. Be sure to find a person or people who can share your grieving the death of a child with you. Im sorry what youre going through but dont lose hope trust in our lord. CPS also made my husband divorce me! They brought 15 cops in my room and did this. I lost my two babies to cps. CPS is trying to take my children even though I am doing my case plan perfectly and not missing any visits and I am STILL getting them taken awaypossibly FOREVER??? Our court date is set to Terminate our parental rights. I was paralyzed from neck down. I am praying for God to give you peace that this world cannot know. He said once a month. We were ecstatic when I found out I had in fact become pregnant. I had my daughter young as a teenager and so Ive always identified myself as just a mother. Those of us who suffer much will benefit in the end. It is so much better for them to be with your mom rather than in an adoption out to strangers. You might not be able to sleep, eat, or think straight. My granddaughter told me that her foster dad was putting a pillow over her face in her bed I reported this as advised by a child advocacy group to report it to the state police in the foster familys county . Im sure she will read them and he might not ever hear them. Need help please. I was accused of hiding my son from the law. My message to the broken-hearted. Rachel weeps for her children, refusing to be comfortedfor her children are gone. Do you think theyre going to testify against you? I am basically left in limbo fishing to find out what is going on as no one is returning phone calls or text (case worker) or (supervisor). Their names are Tommy Lucian and Goldie-May Marie. I end up getting a dui to make matters worse. It could have been handled SO much better. Is there any way to speak with you over the phone? The empty chair/room/space never becomes less empty. Emotional Aspects of Grief. Accept what has happened-I dont mean to agree with what has happened-just accept that it did happen. When we had our children with us, they learned from our behavior more than from our words. There are many things you can do to look after yourself as you cope with the loss of custody of your child. Why would my depression affect child custody under Texas law? We were all ignorant to the laws that govern DSS. I EVEN HAD THE CASE WORKER TELL ME SHE WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING GOOD ON OUR BEHALF.BY THE WAY OUR CASE WORKER CUT ON HERSELF. I honor them and embrace their grief, and understand their depression but there are other things to do in life, even if your children have been taken forever. One thing I always did was took full responsibility for my own actions. 3.) Create a ritual in your sibling's memory. My children adore their mom and dad and their new lives. And I was a GOOD MOTHER! Sometimes I have to get angry about what happened & let off a little steam in a healthy way so I can get myself out of that depressive state. Thanks for this uplifting article/post. We may not see justice until Eternity, but justice will be made. Everything I worked so hard to build they have destroyed so I still love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength but I have become a very strong woman now. Even took hope. Probably the last thing hed want to learn is that his dad gave up and ended his life before a relationship was even possible. The KENTVILLE NOVA SCOTIA OFFICE has been misquoting things Ive said, and making me out to be some horrible monster. She just let it go. ive allowed depression to take over but i know i have to push forward and face whats ahead. Gods going to fight for all good parents who have had there hearts ripped out by all of the many rotten cps agents! Idk what to do Ive everything I could. Sometimes it takes years to rebuild lives destroyed by drugs and alcohol. But either way my baby will know shes enough, shes worth it, and shes loved. Im so tired. Last year they asked me IF I would let my son move in with me and take my grandson and help my son raise him. They can do whatever they want whenever they want. When hes able to scan the internet, will he want to find a litany of accusations against his mother, or will he want to find that his parents are mature enough to co-parent responsibly for the good of their child, without anger and tension? 3 years he had been to my house and he knows every nook and cranny of my house. I dont want to give up but I need a support group or something for thisone where people will help one another fight cases together and not just sit and discuss troubles although that can be useful to some extent too and wallow in problems. Mickalyn, keep trying. Had to beg them not to for it would be so much worse that my sons co workers and friends would witness this. Support your child in their thought time: Support your children through their struggles, too (if they're old enough). My heart is breaking so bad. I take Abilify-It helps a lot by giving me gumption to beat do-nothingism. Custody battles also tend to impose the same chronic strain on the parents and the child. Losing your kids can make you feel like you have no direction-like you are aimlessly walking in a fog and cant find your way out. All they have to say is that they dont want to go home, and yes, one of my teenagers has already done that. Leave a message there if you need too. I couldnt believe they were discussing in an open court room their plans on handling a mother and her child with an outcome already planned. Required fields are marked *. Theres never real happiness. I adopted a baby gorilla for my daughter. You may find it hard to relax or concentrate on other things. My case is horrific. Why? Cps had allowed us six great visits worth the kids and the kids run up to me and their step mom with huge smiles and they keep asking when they can come back to my place.. Cps is keeping the kids away for no reason. I dont believe anything is ever gonna change with the CPS department so I see no use in trying anything any more. Now my daughter gets a message from her worker saying her visits are suspended even though her attorney told her that visits will continue as usual while we are in the appeal phase I feel they are retaliating because of US reporting what my granddaughter told me I struggled reporting because I was worried for her safety My grandson left the home because of an incident where he wet the bed and the foster dad charged at him and he fell and hit his head on the wall There are other instances of things that have occured in this home but what Im asking what can my daughter do Especially because she is worried about her childrens safety. Usually they come around when they see that nobody else in the world can replace the unconditional love they were getting from their mom. I know that the way the case was handled was completely wrong but what can I do about it? God. Now Im a better person and I could be a better mother to my children. BUT I do agree I have a lot on me and I am not fighting anymore. There are many thousands of families that have been through this. But sometimes (most of the time) we have to learn the hard way. DO NOT LET CPS win! A stable home, happy and loving. I was in a hospital 5 times in a year and a half. Sometimes a change from depression to content or even happiness is just a matter of perspective. If I could tell anyone a word of adviceDOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!!! Lets fight this together, turn your hearts to God. Jesus died, by shedding his blood for the sins of the whole world to provide the free gift of eternal life to anyone who will receive it. Monica has years of experience working with families in transition. These poems for grieving parents and other close family members and friends speak to feelings of anger, sadness, grief, despair, and even acceptance. Here are a few steps you can take to cope with this change and loss: Losing custody of a child is a common issue that many parents face during the process of separation or divorce, and also in cases when the parents- for reasons such as substance abuse, reported child abuse and negelect, neglect due to mental and physical illnesses- are deemed incapable to taking care of their children. I do have a lawyer but it seems Im a always hounding him and not getting much help. My alienating ex husband has his dreams come true and I just wait for the day god will no longer reject me. Consider including her baby pictures and photos of other family members. Empty chair, empty room, empty space in every family picture. My case is the worst case I know and it makes people sick to tell them what happened. I turn my childrens attention of their questions onto their parents to have them give the answer. The constitution says you cannot terminate due to a disability. I had my six children yanked. If they terminate our rights, then I am going to fight the system that much harder. I know its hard & those holidays are the worst. Just go to the bookstore, Self-Help section. physical symptoms, such as ongoing sleep problems, significant weight gain or loss, or increasing dependency on tobacco or alcohol. Another good one is Zoloft. Anything you create is never yours. (What are they going to do?Accuse me of trying to fight for my legal rights?). The State makes such a WAR ZONE for our families. This last time on tuesday he showed up with a gash in the side of his cheek and bruising on his head and temple. Im now in a garage which is step above the bushes but its cold and no electricity. Now the parent is expected to not only survive the guilt felt from imagining what their own actions have caused their child to go thru but to somehow quit drugs while feeling the greatest amount of pain one can feel (next to a childs death). Remember what Jesus told Pilot when asked if he was a king, Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from hence. (John 18:36) You could write poetry, paint, or even write your loved one a letter. by . Avoid all illegal drugs now and forever! Im trying to get my son back. Im so sorry. My mom is supposed to be adopting them I guess soon but we dont talk at all and shes had a lot to do with the reason I dont have my babies. He is watching over them. Offer open-ended support. They changed their minds after our grandson was in DSS custody over the 2 year mark. Hopefully they will see this and contact you. People want to help but do not know how. If you do you can be charged with molestation. Mandi, this site was started because I went through something like what you went through. I had to sit on the stand and name each and every date off my life was under the microscope. increased depression (or if you have a history of depression). Get to know who they know, God gave them to you for a reason. After a while we never heard from her again, and Ive always wondered what happened. While some people are indeed too affected by major depression to care for their children, others may be managing their depression and perfectly capable of providing their children with the stable environment and care that they need. Ive been depressed for years but this is a whole new type of depression. My kids are my life if it wasnt for them there is no telling were id be. I havent read them yet-the first is a workbook-but I think the second one is better-so check them out. I am forever wounded. Let us take a look at some steps you can take to help yourself. I can most assuredly tell you that you DID THE RIGHT THING by doing that. NY would not take the TN medical insurance. If you feel - or have ever felt - some of these feelings too, you are not alone. Not the police ,the school district let alone the social worker by the name of Shelia Hawkins her supervisor or her supervisors supervisor. Thank you for this.. Denelle a word of hope for others going through the pain. I need help. After losing a child, parents may find themselves experiencing shock, denial, anger, depression, hopelessness, guilt, isolation, disorganized thoughts, feelings of acceptance, and/or a host of other possible thoughts and feelings. Sam, sorry to hear they wont let your son testify. Make lifestyle changes to help manage stress. I am trying to move on but cant I mean these are my kids. She was 3 1/2 years old, yesterday she turned 6, and I havent seen her in over a year. I have been contemplating suicide for several days, even going to the point of holding the pills in my hand and writing out instructions on what to do with my body. Im thankful for him. I hope this helps each and every one of you! I began to drink a bit. The only reason I am still alive is because my daughter is never going to have to tell people that she got adopted because her mom was a heroin addict. The reason why you feel lost is because your identity as a mother is being shaken now that you are without your kids. This will pass. Your children ARE not alone. You know how hard it is to leave them. Nothing is fixed. I went through postpartum depression (PD) after my third child was born it was terrible and I went to a lot of different therapists to try to find out why I was so depressed and not one of them picked up on the fact it was postpartum. God is not complicit with sin. So I understand losing your faith. She had lost custody and had spent all of her savings to fight him in family court. Usually by the time a case has reached the point of TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) it is hard to get your child back unless youve done everything on the service plan and have collected your evidence and are prepared to impress the judge at the hearing. Is it normal to feel you dont want your kids back? Pray every day that they receive him as Saviour, if they have not already (none of us know anothers heart, so keep praying), and be sure that you are saved. So youre in Modesto and hes in Pittsburg CA (near Antioch)? The reason that depression may be an issue in a child custody case is that it may have a bearing on the childs best interests. I questioned it and all i was told is he has a picking problem at 2 years old??? Our attorney put the record straight! It would cause panic. Thank God he knows he is a child of God. Ive been fighting so hard and for so long that Im tired. Depression: Changes to your relationship with your child may leave you feeling sad, hopeless or depressed. I feel hopeless a lot. The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. He said if they kill me just think what they will do to my followers. Sometimes parents are not sure if their child is depressed. I am getting more and more mad at them as days go by. I think there were a few others, but I cannot remember. Related Articles. Have episodes of aggression or self-harm. Sharing experiences and learning from people in similar situations can be encouraging and helps people develop skills to cope. This is usually due to the circumstances of the loss of someone. Every persons experience of a custody battle is different. The boys , the fpur youngest, have been placed with their dad who was the abuser and up til they gave them to him he only had supervised visits. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a191bbf4e5bb4475cbd5dd594dbc4ba1" );document.getElementById("gccc9d9fd6").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Notify me of follow-up comments by email. When all was said and done i left and went home and got drunk to numb myself i spent the first week drunk everyday. Most cases resolve much faster. In fact the stress and grief of the separation and loss of custody is related to an increased risk of alcohol abuse. If you are depressed, don't attempt to hide it because of a child custody case. Instead, create a life that your children will be eager to be a part of one day. I had missed a CPS court date as i did not have transportation and i could not walk that far in the middle of the summer with a 1 and 2 year old. I have a house full of baby stuff and a career as a nurse that I feel I have to put on hold because mentally I cant bear to go back to work and be around other people who get to keep thier children. That hurts trust me, I know. My ex and his lawyer did everything they could to bleed me dry and drag the proceedings out. If youre experiencing depression, youre probably well aware of how it affects your life. There are different types of depression. Dont give into the lies and dont settle for dog vomit they just handed you. We served God and the community too. I have contacted the media. You can still be happy. If not. This helps with depression. For the last 3 yrs I have been so lost. So the main differences between grief and depression are: Grief is an emotional response to the loss of loved ones, and depression is a clinical syndrome. Dearest Rhonda, Hi my name is Brandi, and I had my 2 sons ages 9 & 11 kidnapped by cps unfairly!! I hate them I wish nothing but misery and painful illness on them..Sorry cant help how I feel they have destroyed my whole life and I just want to leave this cold and cruel world!! I was told by my daughters step mother that cps had plans to keep my children in contact with each other since they were separated but my daughter hasnt seen her brother in 2 years and they only love 30 miles apart. I am writing this in hopes that if someone needs support or might have questions regarding this process, please respond and I will be happy to chat via email, text or phone. I struggled with depression for 10 yrs before finding out that I was pregnant with my son and Ive been happy no matter what since and now theyve taken the only thing that cured my depression! Your children are going to grow up and have their own kids one day. With no hope of ever having a life. So the next time your feeling sad and depressed, let it turn you into the savage beast you need to be to get your kids back. I would be taking this information to my state legislator and to the county board of supervisors or county commissioners. I was also unable to work. Bond was broken Im selling everything they seem ok without me, this was a mistake my kids were never in any type of abuse and they might give my kids back next court date, but Im so depressed. And the state is telling me that my daughter will not be reunited with me as long as Im there because its not considered stable housing. How pathetic, it made me hurt to see my children becoming angry with me because yet again I was denying them when their parents were the good parents because they allowed my children everything. Change from depression to content or even write your loved one a letter to over... An adoption out to strangers to my caseworker people develop skills to cope allowed depression to content even. To investigate the claims this woman had made us take a look some... Parents who have had there hearts ripped out by all of the many rotten CPS agents for... No longer reject me, God gave them to you for a reason fight for all good parents have... 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