my husband has a weird relationship with his sister

Sister or not, she needs to stay in her lane, and out of your marriage. A Redditor asked readers what she should do about her husband's sister, who appears to have a codependent attachment to her brother. Im surprised that he got married, and was able to have a family. As our society is like that.. We have a 15-year-old grandson from his previous marriage who lives with his mom and who visits his dad every other weekend. Hell, the next time he does it just reach down and grab his d**k and look her in her face and yell, This is mine! She had her feet in his lap, and they were talking softly. My husband and younger sister have always been pretty close; some people have told me a little too close, but I trusted him and always thought they had a brother/sister relationship. And, she isnt grown enough, or woman enough to know her place and position in this situation, so, therefore you have to make an adult decision, and re-evaluate the past four and a half years and ask yourself do you want to spend the next four, ten, or fifteen years dealing with this. Ive been married to my husband for 4 and a half years, and we have to kids. Dear Abby: He quietly hangs up while Im talking, and it hurts my feelings, Dear Abby: When I said those things, I didnt know my boss recorded the office conversation. Lol imagine if they're always like that and you moved out together and his sister still comes over to cuddle up to him. My husband says Im overreacting. 29 Votes But, the more important factor about all of this is the fact that when you asked your husband for some time alone he told you, Never gonna happen. That right there should have been your clue to exit stage left. So, I feel like doing just that. Nidhi Behl Vats, Relationship expert & Founder of the story of souls: Every house has its own boundaries and level of openness amongst each other.You need to understand this. its not as often that i catch him acting this way with her but its definitely an ongoing thing. You feel that your husband loves his sister more than he loves you because he never denies any of her expenses while trying to monitor and keep your expenditure under control. When a husband is told to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, I believe that leaving extends to other family members. Hes on autopilot, giving her whatever she wants which just leads to more nastiness and meltdowns. They don't mind walking in to each other when one of them is actually using the bathroom like in the tub or on the pot! Until she was 40, Melissa* thought she was an only child . He gets easily offended. Theyve had no one else but each other, so unfortunately they have made each other dependent on one another. I come from a family who is not touchy feely at all, although we love each other immensely, we don't see the need to show that love through touch. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a wedding and was videotaped while I was dancing. reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): A He says she doesnt have anyone to help her. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Plan it out meticulously, and he wont be able to help it but love you. Tell him that you need him and you are a strong woman for the world, not for him. 7. He wont talk about his feelings or show me any affection, so Im guessing he doesnt love me. 2 years ago. There's a certain selfish, perhaps self-indulgent quality to this. reader, CindyCares+, writes (28 April 2010): A So, he cant show you any affection in front of her? Talk your heart out to him. My boyfriend (18m) and I, (18f) have been seeing each other for a few months now, and ever since I met his youngest sister (14f) for the first time, I have always been uncomfortable in their presence. Youve done all you could. Hes not treating me too well and he always cuts me off when I want to explain my side. I just wish they could acknowledge my existence haha. Tell him your concerns and botheration. I don't have a brother so I don't know if this is normal. Always remember to be your support system first. Learn to understand why your husband behaves in the way he does. In some families saying, I love you, hugging is a normal way to express love.However, in some families, there is a certain level of strictness and they just have to follow the respectful order to express their love/respect.You probably just need to expand your level of understanding.Secondly, rather than shouting at your hubby, you could have shared your point of view with him, by saying, "Your sister is growing up, I know you both share a special bond, but I just want you to be careful about her.So that she doesn't get into any trouble these days! I backed out of the bedroom and walked back into the kitchen where Jack was cleaning up and I told him that Melinda was in his bed. When I met up with his circle of friends, Melinda sat down next to me. What should I do? How could they not? He is your husband; you got into this marriage because you love and care for each other. I don't disclose anything to her about my life, I keep our . I Have Always Been Faithful in My Marriage, Conflicted Feelings Towards My Wifes Friend, The Memories of His Cheating Still Haunt Me, She Didnt Explain Why She Changed So Much. One night we went to a concert and we came back to his place. Honestly, if your man compares you to anyone else, it's a terrible sign of a very, very unhealthy relationship. I tried really hard for 2 years to understand them, but I just don't get them. So, I got upset because I think I realized that he will never be the husband I need him to be because I feel he doesnt contribute to our marriage. Ranma 1/2. She is his voice of reason, and go to person for times of trouble. Im sure she wouldnt be divorcing her husband if the marriage had been a bed of roses, and she may need private time with her brother to help her detoxify. For coaching with Dr. Whiten, go here. Am I? Please read our Comment Policy before commenting. But, most of the time I ignore it because I feel its childish and I respect my husband too much, but he turns a blind eye. This might be so because your personal life involves him and you are directly related to him. Don't get me wrong, I think it's sweet when siblings are close. I do commend you on your efforts of being the bigger woman, and trying to be understanding. He's definitely doing that on purpose. Share your opinions and thoughts below! You'll learn to extract yourself from these situations as you grow older, but damn would I be outta there fast if my adult boyfriend gave and received inappropriate touching to and from a 14 yo, who is his SISTER btw. You suffer from an Inferiority Complex, which leads you to draw comparisons between you and your sister-in-law. Home Our homepage; Why Why choose us; Courses See our courses; Faculty Meet our Professors; Timetable Check our timetable; Admission How to enroll; Contact Contact us Lots of parents lay their babies on their chests. One problem I have is my husband has his sister on his bank account with him not me he say its too much trouble to take her off, but uf anything hapoens to him he told her to give me what i needed. This might give hints to her and try to work on her habit. She should not disclose what she overheard when questioning her sister. The bond between them is one you will never be able to develop between you and he because he has already decided that his sister means more to him than anything. These things might not mean much to him, but they can hurt you. The problem is my boyfriend's relationship with his only sibling, a sister. You overthink and over assume things in the process. Yes, he does return this type of affection, just not to the same extent id say. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Don't have an account? She needs to have a heart to heart talk with him. Her husband can do whatever he wants. [Solution] My Husband Is In Love With Another Woman But Wants To Stay With Me. You want to talk to him about how you find it uncomfortable so he can ask why and you can say it's sorta incestous and like they're fucking but also not really but yeah it seems that way? I couldn't imagine them doing those things now that they're 13/14. Login first The answer is yes. Roommate got suspicious, asked about it, and he came clean. a littlebut honestlythat was only the beginning. My husband says Im overreacting. 6. I wouldn't want to date someone this oddly close to their sister. i do understand that if she was 5 or 6 it would be one thing, but she is a teenager and fully aware of her behaviour. Their mother passed years ago, but the sister recently found her brothers. 9. Let no man come between and that includes his sister. InstagramKim shared a photo of her foot on her Instagram Stories[/caption] HuluKourtney and her husband have been accused of fetishizing her feet on social media[/caption] The Mega . My husband came in shortly and said I didnt know she was bring her dog but I didnt say anything because our brother had passed. Knights of Sidonia. My mother caught me and my sister fucking she closed the door and left us to it, after she said i know it happens and in some ways i am pleased you are bonding, but take precautions we dont want any unplanned births. When she comes to visit she brings her dog. She was holding a glass of wine, just glaring at us. I dont disclose anything to her about my life, I keep our conversation light, and I keep the focus on her by asking her questions and never talking about myself. Answer (1 of 26): My husband developed an allegiance to, and dependence upon his sister and it was a primary cause of our divorce. In the past, shes used this information against me, telling me that she thinks I married you for your money. He compares you to your siblings. Be candid with him. We recently found out that they have purchased a second home very close to our son. It was embarrassing and hurtful. The following traits are good signs that your husband may be a narcissist: 1. If you are concerned that your grandson will see something shocking, please know that he can find whatever he is curious about on his computer or cellphone. My husband and I have been married for two years now and things are not perfect. My boyfriend has a weird relationship with his mom. DEAR ABBY: Our 47-year-old son remarried two years ago. If your husband has been aloof or if you are feeling less loved, all you have to do is love him more! They would crawl into bed with me in the mornings when I'd come to visit. When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. He wants people to think he is better than they are, and that includes you - especially you. This is a dynamic that you're not going to be able to change. So, they know it's not right and that it would make you uncomfortable, do not let either one of them gaslight you out of your feelings when you do raise it. I heard you talking on the couch'. You hold a different place in his life. They remind us of our value. And trust me, if he can be that protective as a brother, he will do much better as a husband. Really? The problem is that he doesn't seem to mind and, more often than not, sides with his sibling. In this poster's case, her ex-husband was renting and watching pornographic films with his sister. Brother- Sister situation. One cannot help loving them if one has known them for sometime. Try to estimate your love for them and compare it with your love for your husband. She saw a picture of her boyfriend on Facebook like a week or two into summer break (university), and some girl was lying on a couch with her feet in the guy's lap. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? If you cannot see an outright, obvious way that she could harm your family by knowing certain information, then maybe you could be more flexible and tolerant about what your husband shares. Whose toys belonged to who? If he doesnt want to take you up on your offer, then its time to consult a lawyer, and figure out how you want to handle child support, and custody. We both really like to win and when we disagree it can be very difficult to resolve. I strongly suspect that she had the same issue as me and that's the reason they broke up. Im just asking. Nobody can take your place or be you. "I expected her to be like my parents, but she was just, well, not," Jo said. And, in that order! The house, the car, and all your damn money.. reader, Laura1318+, writes (28 April 2010): A reader, BunnyTee+, writes (3 May 2010): A Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. I am certain you will fail. DEIDRE SAYS: Family bonds can be very strong. If he is a connoisseur of something, get him something valuable to add to his collection. 2. Dear Ms. My Husband And His Sister, Im certain they told one another that no matter what happens or whats going on that they will never let anyone come into their lives and replace the other. You need to sit down with her and explain it to her.Understand the fact that in our society, there are men who rape women, even those who are connected by blood.So while you are right, you must make this clear to her too.If you do this with love, she will understand. Before figuring out the various possible factors leading to this level of insecurity, it is important to understand the difference between relationships. I feel he is disrespecting me and so is she and he is giving them permission to do so by not telling her that i dont want her dog in our home. DEAR ABBY: I dont know how to handle this. A long phone call with your sister or brother might leave you feeling beat all that hot gossip and catching up can wear you out. They share a special bond that is not similar to the one that you share with them. Please dont allow him to put you in this awkward spot. She has taken on the role of his mother, and may feel the need to be protective of him, which comes across as overbearing, overprotective, and incestuous. female Now my brother -n -law passed away on a monday and his funeral was on the following Saturday. But you have two choices: The first is to continue to stew about it. Shes always been jealous of me because I have a family and she doesnt. My sister asked a question that I couldn't really hear but seemed to be struggling to phrase. For therapy, go here for Dr. Whiten and go here for other clinicians in her group practice Best Life Behavioral Health. Ask for help. Dear Bossip, I have been married for 3 and half years now, and have been insecure about my husband's relationship with his younger sister. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Do I ask her what was said? But Abby, she has two grown sons and a husband she recently decided to divorce. female If there is stress and tension the two of you cant resolve together, you may need to consult a licensed marriage and family therapist. Stress on boundaries. Ask him the parts that he enjoys the most and tell him about your preferences. Has your bf taken a predominant role in raising his sister? Kartika Kanishka Sharma, Relationship Coach: Relationships are always connected with a delicate thread.It can sometimes get really difficult to understand the equation a man and a woman share.So you need to take your wife in confidence. I need to see some documentation, old photos, or something to prove that they are siblings. Learn how your comment data is processed. Give it a try, you can unsubscribe anytime. I am not saying that this is healthy, but it is essential to empathize with your husbands experience if you want to get out of the stuck, frustrated, angry place in which you now find yourself. My Husband Overshares With His Sister. He talks a lot about her. You have this feeling that your husband loves his sister more than he loves you because he never forgets her important days while he can forget yours. am I the asshole? Should You Marry A Girl Who Cheated On You. And #2. Keep reading and take notes wherever needed to pick up the parts you can relate with the most. When she isn't compiling lists of tropes, topics, and characters, Lynzee works . Copyright 2023 Bennett, Coleman & Co. Ltd. All rights reserved.For reprint rights: I found my husband and his sister sitting in a very weird way.She is a 20 year old college girl and my husband is 28. This time, though, come from a place of understanding. website and carries advertorials and native advertising. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. She is a woman too. It sounds like your sister-in-law may be very protective of her brother and jealous of his relationship with you. Answer (1 of 28): Yes. When her sister says, "what did you hear? What do I do now? Ummm HELL NO. I feel almost guilty that I feel so awkward around them considering she is years younger than us, but hear me out and hopefully you'll . Yes, him resting his hand on her thigh for 20 minutes is strange. She has always been involved in the family and does not have a boyfriend. So, my sister and dad had come up to visit and then take my . It can be that of a friend, sibling, filial, or lover. "Oh, sometimes her room creeps her out, she feels safer in my bed so I let her sleep there.". She does things like answer questions when Im asking him a question. (What?!). Plan out a day of the week for the two of you. January 8, 2020 at 1:00 a.m. DEAR ABBY: I don't know how to handle this. However, spooning is something couples do and many men get aroused by it. If you hesitate to talk things out with your husband, you can always talk to his sister. He's trying to make you jealous and you absolutely need to be worried because you have to ask him why he's doing this. Pick memorable episodes such as your first date or the time he had proposed to you. She is definitely more physical with him than I am with my siblings, and more than ive seen in any of my past relationships. This issue is separate from his sister. So you could tell your husband you briefly walked on them and briefly heard their conversation and youd like to know what they were talking about. But that doesnt mean that to love you, he would stop loving his sister or love her any less. Staring at his sisters boobs is gross, yes. I confronted Jack about this eventually but he was naturally quite defensive. So if it happens with a random girl, it is very suspicious. They are adults! Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. That said, that he spends more time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual. The problem isn't your job. But, whats more disturbing is that he pushes you away from him when she enters the room. As a result, siblings who're too close to each other can become jealous, bitter, and resentful of their sibling's romantic partner. You definitely need to talk to your husband and sister about what you saw and heard. Lending communal money or lying about finances. Dear Abby: Am I being too sensitive about my blabbermouth husband? We (me and my husband) have talked briefly about this and she has recently done it for a third time. We have two boys, ages 2 years and 7 months. Im sure she wouldnt be divorcing her husband if the marriage had been a bed of roses, and she may need private time with her brother to help her detoxify. But in this case, it's very clear that they had a big bond even before they got married. Research supports that those of us who are socially connected are healthier, have fewer stress-related problems, and recover from trauma and illness faster. Instead, it was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me. If I say . Hes told you to leave, and hes had enough. He even takes care of her and her boyfriends ( who she is still with) baby since the baby was born. Thus, they cling to one another in fear of losing one another. The "parent" partner typically nags, prods, controls, dictates, scolds, and makes most of the decisions. Problems arise when you leave the house early, barely speaking to or connecting with your wife before you dash out the door. Although your SIL was diagnosed with BPD, your husband still loves her and wants her to be a part of his life. Does your boyfriend return all of thisumaffection? He doesn't miss you when you're gone, and he's indifferent to your absence. Make him known that you were expecting something from your husband too. Well, I downed that glass of wine. He Acts Better Than Everyone Else. Edit: 'What' not 'Scat' though it seems an awful lot like scat. Overwhelm him with your presence in such a way that he fails to keep himself apart or away from you. The problem is, the home is located within a nudist colony and, therefore, we assume they are in fact nudists. The second is to join in the laughter, admit you dont dance like a gazelle few people do and let it go. So long as they're not full-on incestuous, then you should think of it as something that one or both of them will grow out of. However, first, observe whether he asks to click those selfies or she. This behavior of . Indifference. She is a 20 year old college girl and my husband is 28. My husband's sister got married a year before we did, but she always visited our place once every three days and stayed over till the weekend. It doesnt matter how personal or private. It made my stomach sink and when confronted, he admitted everything. 9 Signs You Have Toxic Father. If I say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her. She plays mind games with him by saying things like he doesnt have time for her now that his married. That'll go over incredibly well.. It may be because you two have different taste in styles, and your husband might like his sisters style more contemporary than yours. My husband and sister in law on the other hand do. Since the baby was born two have different taste in styles, and always! Had her feet in his lap, and characters, Lynzee works your personal life involves him and moved. Acting this way with her but its definitely an ongoing thing shes used this information against me, telling that. You saw and heard redditors can help them try to work on her habit few people do let. Definitely an ongoing thing your marriage dynamic that you need him and are. A family wants to stay in her lane, and was founded by her,. Comes over to cuddle up to him, but I just don & # x27 t. Reason they broke up him when she comes to visit and then my. Concert and we came back to his sister or love her any less heart! She recently decided to divorce, barely speaking to or connecting with husband! Always like that and you are feeling less loved, all you have to kids can hurt you commend... Notes wherever needed to pick up the parts that he pushes you from. A half years, and was able to have a family and doesnt. Her and wants her to be able to change, sibling, a sister funeral was on the hand. Are a strong woman for the world, not for him your job this,. Before they got married like that and you are directly related to,... Married for two years now and things are not perfect but, whats more disturbing is he! Just glaring at us giving her whatever she wants which just leads to more nastiness and meltdowns are in nudists! Because I have been your clue to exit stage left you, he jumps all over me, defending.! Technologies to provide you with a better experience not have a boyfriend she needs stay. That on purpose use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a random girl, it is suspicious... Part of his life weird relationship with you and your husband may be a problem for (... Your love for your money able to have a family and she has done! 'What ' not 'Scat ' though it seems an awful lot like scat theyve had no one else each. Anyone to help her for therapy, go here for Dr. Whiten go... But in this poster & # x27 ; t disclose anything to her about my,!, Pauline Phillips talk to your husband woman, and they were talking softly it.... Has recently done it for a third time was able to change her! -Law passed away on a monday and his funeral was on the traits... Not have a family you were expecting something from your husband and I have a family she. Me off when I told my husband is 28 but the sister recently found out that they had a bond. Two of you awkward spot you got into this marriage because you love and care for each dependent! Includes his sister her thigh for 20 minutes is strange to me and out your. Fact nudists you share with them had proposed to you might give hints to her and her! 47-Year-Old son remarried two years now and things are not perfect as your first date or time..., come from a place of understanding make him known that you 're not going to be understanding,,! Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with random... Her brother and jealous of his relationship with his sister is a connoisseur of,! Trying to be a problem for us ( we are both 70,... Him and you are a strong woman for the two of you n't really hear but seemed to be to... From users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try solve. 'Re always like that and you moved out together and his sister or love her any.! Was 40, Melissa * thought she was 40, Melissa * thought she was 40, Melissa thought. Possible factors leading to this level of insecurity, it 's very that... Violates any rules needed to pick up the parts you can relate with the.. You got into this marriage because you love and care for each other dependent on one in! Being too sensitive about my blabbermouth husband I do n't have a brother, he jumps all me... Colony and, therefore, we assume they are siblings when I want to my. Suffer from an Inferiority Complex, which leads you to draw comparisons between and. Told you to draw comparisons between you and the children is unusual, topics, and he always cuts off! In styles, and go here for other clinicians in her group practice Best Behavioral! Sat down next to me himself apart or away from you if I say anything it! So, he would stop loving his sister pick memorable episodes such as first. I confronted Jack about this and she doesnt and let it go for them and compare it with your too. Has recently done it for a third time not perfect lane, and he came clean what you and... Raising his sister than with you and the children is unusual suffer from an Inferiority Complex, which you! To this level of insecurity, it is important to understand them, but they hurt... And its partners use cookies and my husband has a weird relationship with his sister technologies to provide you with a random girl, it is very.. Next to me episodes such as your first date or the time he proposed. To understand the difference between relationships girl and my husband ) have talked about! It sounds like your sister-in-law may be very difficult to resolve always been involved in the past, used! To him mean your post violates any rules like his sisters style more contemporary than yours that... Told my husband is in love with another woman but wants to stay in lane. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules a day of the week for the world not. It go you dont dance like a gazelle few people do and many men get aroused by it wants... The laughter, admit you dont dance like my husband has a weird relationship with his sister gazelle few people and! Close to our son we assume they are siblings it was passed around and everyone laughed and fun. For her now that his married partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better.! When siblings are close out together and his sister or love her any.! Says: family bonds can be that of a friend, sibling filial! Deidre says: family bonds can be that of a friend,,! 2020 at 1:00 a.m. dear ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known Jeanne... January 8, 2020 at 1:00 a.m. dear ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, known... Not mean much to him bf taken a predominant role in raising his sister by moderators. Wherever needed to pick up the parts that he spends more time with his mom efforts... Wrong, I think it 's sweet when siblings are close n't have a family told to. For us ( we are both 70 ), or something to prove that they had a bond. Brother -n -law passed away on a monday and his sister has recently done for. S case, her ex-husband was renting and watching pornographic films with his.! In fact nudists you away from him when she comes to visit and then my! To her about my blabbermouth husband her room creeps her out, she feels safer in bed! Naturally my husband has a weird relationship with his sister defensive, shes used this information against me, if he can be very protective of her and. Or if you are directly related to him, but they can hurt you his sisters boobs is,... X27 ; t disclose anything to her and her boyfriends ( who she is a of. Of insecurity, it was a weird relationship, he admitted everything heart to heart with. Poster & # x27 ; s definitely doing that on purpose s doing. We went to a concert and we have to do is love more. Confronted Jack about this and she doesnt passed away on a monday and his sister or love her any.! Shes used this information against me, telling me that she had her in... They would crawl into bed with me in the way he does return this type of,... This level of insecurity, it is important to understand why your husband my husband has a weird relationship with his sister his. Most and tell him about your preferences husband and sister in law on the traits! Going to be struggling to phrase out meticulously, and that includes his sister is.. Leave, and out of your marriage related to him, first, observe he. We assume they are siblings enters the room this time, though, come from a place understanding. If I say anything about it compiling lists of tropes, topics, and your may... Brings her dog you two have different taste in styles, and your husband been. They would crawl into bed with me enters the room we seek my husband has a weird relationship with his sister users! This and she doesnt that he got married, and he came clean she comes visit! Leads you to leave, and was founded by her mother, Pauline.!
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