Franklin apparently proposed marriage, but she declined in deference to her deceased husband. Deborahs famous temper might be traced to her frustration with him, as well as the general unfairness of her situation. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement. Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745) June 25, 1745 My dear Friend, I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. The Benjamin Schenck Mansion Bed and Breakfast. Marriage is the most natural state of man, and therefore the state in which one is most likely to find solid happiness. His 1742 ballad in praise of her, as Lemay points out, touched upon every aspect of her domestic skills except motherhoodeven though she had mothered William Franklin since infancy and, shortly after Frankys death, had taken in young James Franklin Jr., the son of Bens deceased brother. He also became more empatheticits hard to imagine he would have written an essay like On the Death of Infants, which was inspired by the death of an acquaintances child, had he not been enraptured by his own son and fearful lest a similar fate should befall him. Deborah Read, who he had courted before going to England, had married Roger Potter during his absence. Ha, ha..I think lots of older women are not so good in this day & age..bah humbug to waiting on a man & confounding ones self to be pleasing to him.. One of the foremost of the Founding Fathers, Franklin helped draft the Declaration of Independence and was one of its signers, represented the United States in France during the American Revolution, and was a delegate to the Constitutional Convention. One of the most memorable scenes of the Autobiography is the description of his arrival on a Sunday morning, tired and hungry. A Note to our Readers Moist Banana Bread Recipe The Best Banana Bread Ever, 14 Reasons That You Should Read This Post, Wearing A Mask In The Midst Of PTSD Ignorance, in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones, Because as they have more Knowledge of the World, frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice. Never endeavor to deceive or impose on his understanding: nor give him uneasiness (as some do very foolishly) to try his temper; but treat him always beforehand with sincerity, afterwards with affection and respect., Whether at this point he loved Deborah is difficult to say; despite his reputation as a flirt and a charmer, he seldom made himself emotionally available to anyone. Benjamin had a common-law marriage with Deborah Read, until her death. Poor Richard's Almanack, p.17, Barnes & Noble Publishing. Soft is good in most things, but not that. So Franky probably wasnt a particularly sickly child. -Joseph Campbell Resolve to perform what you ought. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. Benjamin Franklin This event profoundly saddened the Franklins. If Deborah was the model for this fictional wife, as she seems to have been, its worth noting the authors rationale for preferring her type. A bachelor in his twenties was frowned upon and Franklin at age 24 was set to find a wife. After expressing his regret over having failed to inoculate Franky, he added: This I mention for the Sake of Parents, who omit that Operation on the Supposition that they should never forgive themselves if a Child died under it; my Example showing that the Regret may be the same either way, and that therefore the safer should be chosen., Franklin took the blame for not inoculating Franky, just as he took the blame for Deborahs disastrous first marriage. Much has been made of Franklin being a womanizer, especially in Europe. Sabin wrote me he had ascertained that Franklin was the author. The editors do not know what evidence Sabin had, but their judgment is that the pamphlets style is too unlike Franklins to ascribe it to him. * Are All My Recipes Grain Free? He had never been much interested in children, but after the birth of Francis Folger Franklin, on October 20, 1732, he wrote that they were the most delightful Cares in the World. The boy, whom he and Deborah nicknamed Franky, gave rise to a more ebullient version of Franklin than he had allowed the world to see. ( 337 ) $9.99. For one so young to assume the persona of a middle-aged woman was a remarkable feat, and Franklin took exquisite Pleasure in the fact that his brother and others became convinced that only a learned and ingenious wit could have written these essays. Deborah assisted in the business by folding and stitching pamphlets, tending shop, purchasing old linen rags for paper makers. Benjamin Franklin, Walter Isaacson (2003). Marriage and Children Deborah Read and Benjamin Franklin entered a common law agreement on September 1, 1730. Not until his ship was well out at sea did he realize that Governor Keith had not delivered the letters of credit and introduction he had promised. Franklin had endured sadnessthe death of his brother James, the man who had taught him printing and with whom he had only recently reconciledand a serious health scare, his second serious attack of pleurisy. 7. The addressee is unknown; and the letter may in fact be an essay in the form of a letter. Their first son, Francis, died at only four years old of smallpox. No one yet understood that it spread when people inhaled an invisible virus. Whether he blamed Deborah, or blamed himself for listening to her, the hard feelings relating to the death of their beloved sonthe DELIGHT of all that knew him, according to the epitaph on his gravestoneappear to have ravaged their relationship. It's long been alleged that, in private, he labeled blame upon Deborah. Prose writing became, as he recalled in his Autobiography, of great Use to me in the Course of my Life, and was a principal Means of my Advancement.. The Gazette reported that of the Several Hundreds of people inoculated in the Boston area that year, about four had died. And when Franklin sailed for London in 1757 he made no secret of his ambivalence about leaving his 14-year-old daughter with Deborah. In 1730, when Boston had another outbreak, he used his own newspaper to promote inoculation in Philadelphia because he suspected the disease would spread south. "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." -Andre Maurois "Marriage is the most natural state of man and the state in which you will find solid happiness." -Benjamin Franklin "Marriage is a huge investment: of time, of energy and of emotion. How did a man who understood better than most the relative safety and efficacy of inoculation choose wrong? Are You. Though Deborah and Ben would enter into a common-law marriage that lasted over 40 years, they never officially wed. Those four decades held plenty of upset. His father, Josiah Franklin (1657-1745), a native of England, was a candle and soap maker who married twice and had 17 children . Spelling and the way words changed in the almost 270 years since Ben wrote his letter and that may account for what are misspelled by todays standard or he may have misspelled them in 1748. 2023 Smithsonian Magazine Now a me limbs are soft an tender. Updates? public. They are these: 1. Franklin exchanged some promises about marriage with Deborah Read and, with a young friend, James Ralph, as his companion, sailed for London in November 1724, just over a year after arriving in Philadelphia. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy. LOL. [Benjamin Rush], in the copy belonging to the Library Company of Philadelphia.1 Paul L. Ford and Carl Van Doren accepted this attribution.2 However, the Library Companys copy belonged in fact to James Read of Reading, who acquired it in 1774; and the inscription, in Reads hand, actually reads By Mr. Franklin (the printer of it) I believe. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman. I would have loved to see Franklin, Mark Twain, & George Carlin trade witticisms! I certainly agree with you about misused or misspelled words. Franklin had ten siblings and seven step-siblings. One problem, though the couple's only son was not inoculated, contracted smallpox, and ultimately died. Her husband was thrilled. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. The budding friendship between the two young people soon developed into mutual attraction. He was the tenth son of soap maker, Josiah Franklin. Since he was also an investor, he had a lot to share about achieving wealth and prosperity. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy. Sherry is ready to help you reach your full potential and Stop Living Comfortably Miserable. When Benjamin Franklin was born on 6 January 1706, in Boston, Suffolk, Massachusetts Bay Colony, British Colonial America, his father, Josiah Franklin Sr., was 48 and his mother, Abiah Lee Folger, was 38. . William Franklin was born Feb. 22, 1762, followed by the birth of Francis on Oct. 20, 1732 and . 2. Benjamin Franklin, also called Ben Franklin, pseudonym Richard Saunders, (born January 17 [January 6, Old Style], 1706, Boston, Massachusetts [U.S.]died April 17, 1790, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, U.S.), American printer and publisher, author, inventor and scientist, and diplomat. He had been one of the few white men in Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket, Massachusetts (as a successor of Thomas Mayhew), and was a teacher and translator for the Wampanoag Indians. If originally she had believed Franky would bring her closer to Benjamin, now she just hoped the boy would help her keep hold of him. Having been to "Hell and back," her passionate writing will inspire, motivate, educate and make you laugh. Benjamin Franklin was born in a small house on Milk Street in Boston, Massachusetts on January 6, 1706, the son of Josiah Franklin and Abiah Folger. Corrections? They did consummate their marriage and have a child. Without industry and frugality nothing will do, and with them everything. Whether the letter in question truly qualified as his first is unknown, since it has been lost. I long regretted bitterly and still regret that I had not given it to him by inoculation. Thus, as Franklin later wrote, the former couples mutual Affection was revived, and they were joined in a common-law marriage on September 1, 1730. In 1730, Franklins Pennsylvania Gazette had reported extensively on an outbreak in Boston. During our investigation, Nancy reveals why we should explore the life of Benjamin Franklin through the women in his life; Deborah Read Franklin and her marriage to Benjamin Franklin; And, details about the marriage of Benjamin and Deborah Franklin, including the many years they spent apart from each other between 1757 and 1775. He had three children, including William Franklin, who was Colonial Governor of New Jersey, from 1763 to 1776. It was November 1724. Reading Benjamin Franklin's letter in the year 2013, I have to agree with you, a lot of the things he wrote about marriage in the year 1745 appear to be funny to us today, because it just isn't true. That scenarioparents unable to agree on inoculation for their childwas precisely the one Ben Franklin fixed on two decades after his sons death, when he wrote about impediments to the procedures public acceptance. With less than three years of formal schooling, he taught himself almost everything he knew. Either intentionally or accidentally, as a side effect of her stroke, she sometimes confused the two, referring to Franklins grandson as your son and our child.. I wonder if he spelled them right for 1748 or if he was like my Mom and daughter! Here are a few surprising facts about Ben's spirited wife. However, Benjamin Franklin was right and wrong about older women! They had a son, Francis, who died four years later from smallpox, and a . In a January 1772 letter to his sister Jane, he shared the emotions the boy stirred in himemotions he had hidden from his wife. Wherein a Practicable Plan is laid down for Obtaining and Securing Conjugal Felicity. The legislatures minutes, delivered to Franklin for printing, spelled out the reason: Smallpox had broken out in the heart or near the middle of the town.. There was no ceremony. He is an incomplete Animal. But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. On long-distance relationships: The biggest issue in Franklin's marriage to Reed was his frequent trips to London. In October 1765, Deborah Franklin sent a gushing letter to her husband, who was in London on business for the Pennsylvania legislature. She saw him and thought I made, as I certainly did, a most awkward ridiculous Appearance.. This letter was even funnier to me because Benjamin Franklin misspelled words that I restrained myself from correcting. She and Ben were never legally married. A stunning new theory suggests that a debate over the failed treatment of their sons smallpox was the culprit.
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